I've got her what?
by alchemyfreak42
Summary: Everyone knows the soulmate AU where one soulmate feels another's pain. How do guys deal with one of the most basic parts of a girl's life?


"Hey, Boss, what's taking you so long?" Hikaru asked, peering closely at Tamaki's pale face as they prepared for the day's activities. He frowned. "Boss, you okay?"

"I don't- feel that great," Tamaki said, breathing shallowly.

"What's up?" Kaoru asked, coming over.

"My stomach," Tamaki groaned, clutching it tightly.

"Did you eat something bad, Tama?" Honey asked sweetly.

"The Commoners' food may have poisoned you," Hikaru said suspiciously.

"None of _us_ are sick, though," His brother pointed out.

"You have a point, Oh Twin-of-Mine," Hikaru nodded sagely.

"Where specifically does it hurt?" Kyoya asked, pushing his glasses up.

"My stomach," Tamaki told him.

"No," Kyoya sighed, "Where _in_ your stomach? Is it the side? The middle? Toward the top, the bottom, the back?"

"The bottom, I guess," Tamaki said, then groaned and doubled over. He sat down shakily on the ground, curling up and hugging his stomach weakly.

"Your birthday was recently, yes?" Kyoya asked thoughtfully.

Tamaki nodded.

"Is it your soulmate's pain, or your own?"

"Dunno," Tamaki groaned, "But whatever this is, I don't think I'm going to be able to host today."

The others blinked at each other, murmuring amongst themselves.

"You mean his soulmate ate something bad?" Honey asked thoughtfully.

"Or maybe they've got the flu," Kaoru suggested.

"It makes sense," His brother put in.

"What are you guys talking about?"

They looked up as Haruhi entered the room, frowning at them.

"You're late," Kyoya said sternly.

"Yeah, yeah," Haruhi muttered irritably, "And you're going to up my debt, aren't you? Whatever, I'm not in the mood today."

"Are you okay, Haru?" Honey asked, squinting up at her. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, Honey," Haruhi said, smiling a bit. It didn't quite reach her eyes, though, and the twins noticed.

"Honey's right-" Hikaru said, circling her.

"You've got _bags_ ," Kaoru nodded.

"I'll be _fine_ ," She insisted. "Now seriously, what are you guys doing?"

"The boss's stomach is hurting," Kaoru whispered, leaning forward as though he were going to tell her a secret.

"We think his soulmate ate something bad," Hikaru nodded, his face close to hers.

Haruhi scowled and grabbed their heads- then slammed them together.

"I told you, not today."

They blinked at her, then each other, then smiled predatorily.

"Why, Haruhi," Hikaru said,

"Are you feeling _ill_?" Kaoru asked.

" _Yes_ ," She said shortly, "Now if you don't get _out of my face_ , _you're_ going to feel ill. _Got it?"_

The twins blinked at her face, quailed, and nodded meekly.

"Got it," They chorused.

"Now that that's sorted out," Kyoya announced, "Where were you earlier? You were supposed to get here early to help with the cosplay arrangements."

"I _said_ I got it," Haruhi snapped, "I had to go to the nurse, all right? Now back off."

"Wow, Haruhi really _isn't_ in a good mood," Hikaru muttered to his brother, frowning at their friend.

"She'd never snap at Kyoya like that, if she wasn't _really_ feeling like crap," Kaoru muttered back.

"No matter," Kyoya sighed, "I suppose we can't very well host today, with Tamaki out of commission."

" _Great,_ " Haruhi said, the relief clear on her face, "Does that mean I can go home now?"

"No," Kyoya said firmly, "You need to stay to help clean up, especially since you were missing earlier."

" _Fine._ " Haruhi scowled but dropped her bag in the corner and started pulling down decorations, then turned and snapped at the twins, "Are you guys going to help, or what?"

"Right!" They cried, saluting sharply.

They quickly recruited Mori to help pull down the decorations, while Honey convinced Tamaki to uncurl enough to move to one of the couches. Haruhi began taking tea sets to the back, and Kyoya watched approvingly, tapping his pen on the edge of his notebook before he sat and began tapping away on his computer.

The supplies were quickly stored, a heat pack collected for Tamaki, and Haruhi pacified with their aid. It was going quite well, until Hikaru and Kaoru accidentally bumped into her, causing a teacup to crash to the ground.

" _Damnit!"_ Haruhi shrieked, her voice echoing across the room, "Can't you guys just leave me alone for _one day?!"_

"Haruhi," Mori said, walking over to her.

"I _know_ ," She said, her voice unusually high, "But it's just- today is just-"

He ruffled her hair, and that was all it took for Haruhi's face to crumple and to convince her to allow him to pull her forward into a hug.

"Today sucks," She sniffled, her voice small.

"Mm," Mori said.

"Sorry, guys," She said quietly after a minute, pulling away to wipe at her eyes and sniffle a little, "I'm just having a really bad day."

Hikaru and Kaoru glanced at each other and nodded.

"It's kinda our fault," they said, "Sorry for bumping you."

Haruhi nodded and sniffled once more before pulling herself together.

"I'll go get a broom," she said quietly, leaving the room.

"Have you figured out what's wrong with the Boss, yet?" Kaoru asked, glancing at Kyoya.

"I believe so," he said from the table, pausing in his typing.

"Well?" Hikaru demanded, "What's his soulmate got?"

"Her period," Kyoya said, the barest twitch of his mouth revealing his amusement.

"Her what?" Hikaru asked curiously.

"Her period," Kyoya repeated. "It happens to every woman, once a month. Now that Tamaki can feel his soulmate's pain, he will also feel the effects of it."

"How long does it last?" Tamaki asked finally, looking at his friend.

"A week."

"Bite me."

Tamaki curled back into himself and resumed ignoring them all.

"Oh, shove it," Haruhi said as she came back into the room.

"Hmph," Tamaki grunted.

"Youdon't even have to deal with the side-effects," she said matter-of-factly. "In fact, you're only even going to feel anything when she forgets to take medicine for long enough for it to get above an ache, which means you aren't going to have to deal with the back pain, the headaches, _most_ of the stomachaches, the _sick_ stomachs, the mood swings, hot flashes, nausea, or anything else. So shut up."

The other members of the Host Club stared at her in growing horror as she ticked off the list on her fingers and then shook her head as she leaned down to sweep up the shards of glass still lying on the ground.

"You mean you have to do that every month?" Hikaru asked, his eyes wide with horror.

"For the rest of your life?" Kaoru asked weakly.

"I don't think I want a soulmate," HIkaru said.

Haruhi shrugged from where she was cleaning up.

"It looks like Tamaki has someone with a particularly bad one," She said calmly, though she did give him an evaluating glance, "Most people aren't incapacitated by it."

"Haruhi?" Karou asked.

"You're our hero," Hikaru said when she looked up.

She smiled faintly and waved her hand vaguely. "It's no big deal. Every girl has to deal with it, and most aren't as bad as m- that."

She glanced at Tamaki quickly, and the others nodded thoughtfully.

"How does _yours_ compare?" Honey asked.

"Uh, what?" Haruhi asked, staring at him.

"How bad are yours?" He repeated. "If you feel really bad, we could maybe do something to help out when you get yours!"

Haruhi stared at him, working her mouth silently for a long moment. "I- ah, thanks, but I'm really fine. It's nothing I can't handle."

"Wait,-" Karou said,

"You mean you're on your period-" Hikaru continued,

"Right _now?_ " They finished together.

"Damnit." Haruhi groaned as the twins bustled her to a couch, Honey fled in search of chocolate cake (he'd heard that chocolate helped, and cake _always_ did), and Mori went to get another hot pack.

She sighed in relief as she sat down, grudgingly allowing one of the twins to massage her shoulders. She looked balefully at Tamaki, who hadn't moved, and then allowed herself a little smirk.

Pansy.

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 **In case you didn't catch it, Haruhi's got a** _ **really**_ **bad period but didn't want to admit it. She's also Tamaki's soulmate, though I only hinted at it. I hope y'all enjoyed this. Ouran's not mine.**

 **I wrote this because I keep coming across soulmate AUs where they feel each other's pain, and it occurred to me that that means the guy is going to feel the chick's period and be 'oh holy crap, am I** _ **dying?**_ **'**


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